Sunday, August 16, 2015


On August 13th, I turned 24. 
Usually people are excited about their birthdays, having surprised birthday parties thrown by friends & family, going to birthday dinners, or even to a club. Not me. I spent my birthday at home watching a movie & eating a pizza. The same ritual I do every week, (which is why I don't have the abs I want but that is a completely different story.)
I had plans to spend my birthday with someone special to me but life has a way of ruining your plans. I see it as ruining but it could be "not my path" to take at that time. I keep hearing that saying in my head. "Not my path." I've gone through a lot this past year with my relationship that I have had since I was sixteen years old. This person meant the world to me, my best friend. But as we got older, they were constant obstacles thrown at us. He was constantly away because he joined the military and left for war at the age of eighteen. From then on, he's been constantly overseas or in another state during our relationship. Before he deployed last summer, a lot of shit went down and it completely broke me down. Still, I chose to support him & spend time with him in Texas before he deployed for the next nine months. During the next nine months, we would talk everyday, all day until we fell asleep trying to work out the issues between us but it just was not the same as being in front of each other, communicating face to face. Which brought on a lot of mistrust and arguments. Though we would fight a lot, we made plans to move in with each other. At first I was okay with it, I really wanted it. I mean, it was what I have been waiting for but something inside me just was not feeling right.... I felt like I could not completely let go of my feelings that I have felt before he left. I could not trust him completely, I did not feel secure, like a change would be made for me to want to commit so heavily to a relationship that has not been so stable.
I told him how I felt, at the time he seemed to understand but as soon as he got home. And I do mean AS SOON as he touched down on U.S. ground, he betrayed my trust. I could not believe it. I was shell shocked on the way he was acting towards me. I mean, I was not completely innocent either but he was not open towards what I had to say to him. He just decided to walk away. Which hurt me.... I always stayed with him whenever he did mess up. I wanted to support him because that is what you do when you love someone. But I think his ego got in the way because he did not want to listen.
I say all this because I had so many plans for myself before I turned 24. I was supposed to be moved out, on my own. We were supposed to be living together, working together to be better together. I mean I waited for this. At 24, I expected to be much further in life than I am right now. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be grateful for everything that I have right now as I'm working towards my goals but it's still gets me down when I think about it. I'm in my mid twenties, at this age I am expected to be on my own, with a degree, and a job.... And right now I feel like I have to start from scratch in every aspect of my life. I reeeeeaaallly have to push harder now to even get to the same level as everyone else my age. Knowing this is suppose to inspire me but it sometimes scare me. Will ever be successful? I had big dreams for myself: working at Vogue, living in SOHO in a condo, having a car, graduated from college, traveling to Paris, London. I had big dreams. And I sometimes feel like it's never going to happen to me... and it's scary.
I guess the fall out of my relationship with someone so close to me has made me hesitant to commit to anything else because of the possibility of failure. But I KNOW I have to push passed it. There are things that I want for myself that only I can give myself.
I want to be fit (strong body & mind), a degree, good paying job, loving/honest partner.
And it all starts with me!
So if any of you guys are feeling like me, we are in this together!!! We have got to stay strong and keep going!!
This last year was horrible but I really got to make my 24th year better than ever. I have to reach my goals, & stay focused. 

Friday, July 31, 2015

Fur Keychains

These little fur key chains have been popping up on every stylish person I "know". (from social media) And I am completely obsessed with it. I want and NEED one, especially in black. Michael Kors seems so be the inspiration behind this fluffy accessory and I'm all for it. BUT! I can't really afford the price for the Michael Kors one so I'll settle for a knock off instead.

H&M Key Ring  - $5.99 

Wednesday, July 29, 2015


I've been having real "first world crisis"... finding the perfect foundation has been real struggle. I tried all of the drugstore (Revlon Colorstay, L'oreal True Match, Rimmel London, Cover Girl, etc.) I even went through all of the MAC foundations but NONE of them made my skin look flawless. I wanted FULL coverage, weightless foundation, that could last all day. And to find the perfect color was also a problem for me. The color would be either to orange or to ashy for my skin tone. I've been dancing around the idea of purchasing the NARS All Day Luminous foundation but I can not get over the price. $48 for a foundation??? I just couldn't see myself doing that. But one day walking around on 34th in NYC, after returning my MAC foundation at MACYS. I decided to walk across the street to Sephora. I made a B line straight to the NARS section. I couldn't resist the packaging and the way the bottle felt in my hand. I studied to shades before picking the one I thought would be for me. I then reached over to select "Tahoe" opened it and tried it on the jawline of my face. With to swipes, it disappeared into my skin like magic. And I thought "this is it!" and I hurried towards the cash register to purchase it. From that moment on, I have no regretted spending the $48 on this foundation. It is seriously the  BEST foundation I have ever tried. I really don't know why I was so hesitant before to buy it. Either way the money was well worth it. The color match? Perfect. Long lasting? Check. Full Coverage? Definitely! the only that's missing is a primer before you apply, it can settle into the fine lines after awhile but the pay off is great. I will definitely be purchasing this again.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Look for Less - Aquazzura Amazon Lace Up Sandals

I am addicted to social media, following fashion bloggers and fashion Instagrams and it is really hard to not to notice the current obsession with lace up sandals. I have had my eye on the Aquazzura Amazon sandals but I am broke! LOL So I have done my research and found the PERFECT knock off for the right price. has perfect designer inspired shoes for a great price.

EGO shoes (click here

Aquazzura Amazon lace up sandals (click here

Thursday, March 19, 2015

ZARA shoe wishlist

I don't get to shop much since I'm "in between jobs" at the moment. BUT! I do keep my eye out on things that I would want to buy. ZARA has been killing it lately with the shoes. And do not get me started. When there's a sale going on, they sell out so quickly. I can not tell you how many times a pair of shoes would sell out as I'm adding the shoe to my cart to purchase. It's ridiculous! I would even get a size smaller just to see if it'll fit that's how bad I would want them. But it wouldn't work out because it would be to small. LOL

Anywho! Here are my ZARA shoe wishlist.


I'm Back!

It has been a while since I've last posted (almost a year ago!) but life has completely taken me by surprise. There's been a lot of devastating things that has happened to be during this past year. But I have to keep remind myself that it could have been worse and things will eventually get better.

During this emotional process in my life, I have been focusing more on my fitness journey. In a way it's therapeutic to me because I know can control how my body will react, I have control of what I do. I know that was my problem when I was going through what I was going through. I wanted to stop it all but I had no control of it. It was already done. And it almost killed me. (emotionally) But as the saying goes, "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!"  And I have gotten stronger. My body was gotten way stronger, my endurance level has completely changed. It's great!

I'm also doing a new workout regime by Fitness Blender  and within 2 weeks I've lost 5-7 pounds, depending on the day. I feel more confident and more sure of myself. It's an 8 week program. I have about 6 more weeks to go. I can not wait to find out how much more weight I can lose with this. I have to admit, I have been cheating a few times on my "diet" but I'm only human. Though that is no excuse I need to be more disciplined if I want to lose this "emotional weight". That's what I'm calling it because I've turned to food to make myself "feel better". But we all know comfort food only makes it worse. Especially when you can't fit your skinny jeans anymore.

As I'm writing this post, I'm feeling a release, some sort of creative release from it all. I feel like this what I should be doing. I want to hopefully start posting more fashion posts featuring my style. I follow so many fashion bloggers and youtube vloggers I feel like this is what I should be doing.
And I can't wait to start !